Monday, February 27, 2012

I remember that when I was little I was looking forward to grow up, to be on my own, to be responsible and be able to take my own decisions.
I didn't grow up in a conservatory family, I actually grew up along with my parents, them being so young. I grew up as a kid with " the key around my neck" I started making my own decision since I was 8 years old, I always fought for what I stood for until I bled. At that time I thought that by working hard and being able to take the right decisions are the right ingredients to have yourself a pink life. Now, at 23 years old, I know that what we're told when we grow up is actually just a fairy tale or an ounce of hope combined with regret by the one you're told… life is never pink and it shouldn't be, I for one don't like pink, i like blue, I want my life to be blue and I'm trying my best to make it so. Unfortunately these days I feel that I actually haven't lived, I didn't do all the stupid little things which make those memories abominable when you remember.
And I mostly hate the fact that I'm sick, that I fucked it up because one stupid person, which obviouy isn't worth it. I don't want to pay for other people mistakes, I don't want to worry about things that are too mature for me right now, even if that makes me imature.

… all I want is to make my life blue.… happy....every day counts!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

2 years of surgery

It's been 2 years since I started my internship at the surgery clinic. It's been wonderful, there have been good times and bad times but I'm certain that when I'll draw the line it would be all worth it.
I look back and I see myself more mature, more confident and it's all because the people who teach me.
It is said that you become your mentor and if it's true then I'm going to be a wonderful doctor and a good person. Someone told me a little time ago that I should take better care of myself not to become as my mentor because I have a good heart and I shouldn't become heartless but that's one of the people who can't see beyond the lines... As I said before : "I can't think of 10 reasons why I want to be a vet but I can give you a 1000 reasons why I'd like to quit. And they make it harder on purpose...there are lives in our hands. It comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing ... I love the plain-field".... And I do love the plain-field, I do love the adrenaline rush, right now I'm in vacation and I don't feel like myself, I miss my boss, the clinic, the fight, the laughs, everything...I will always be in debt to these two people who teach me how to be a good doctor and a better person and I don't think that there are many doctors or people who would take their time with someone to teach them things which they are not oblige to do so.

So thank you very much, once again. happy....every day counts!